Saturday, June 19, 2010 I went through my day as usually as was possible, despite the fact that Audra was in labor with her first child. Little Zane Able finally joined us in the evening and Audra finally had her long awaited blessing in her arms. The following the morning the Pediatrician said the baby’s heart beat was little off and he should be brought in for an echocardiogram on Friday, just to be sure.
He is six days old and weighs 8.9 pounds; beautiful, blonde and pink skinned; he grins in his sleep. His mother knows too much about pediatric medicine to stand calmly and explain. Her father took her into his arms and she wept on his shoulder. Zane slept curled beneath my chin and all that was within me breathed out a prayer of pleading to the merciful Creator of the Universe.
We wandered numbly through the rest of the afternoon; phone calls, explanations, tears, more calls, more tears, cookies and pop, sitting silent with unspeakable sadness pressing the backs of our eyes and spilling down our faces. Intellectually knowing and trusting what modern medicine can do while not allowing ourselves to think of all that could conceivably go wrong.
Zane slept, weary from the happenings of the morning.
By evening the cloud had lifted somewhat; we found that we could have a conversation; we ordered pizza. Zack ran the numbers for Audra, so she would and could stop fretting about the money. He adores her and he is her strong shoulder and everything she ever wanted.
They seem incredibly young to me. They are strong and smart and neither of them backs away from a fight.
I hope their son has their strength and courage; both families and all who love us and them are leaning into the wind for him. Tomorrow is another day.