Tuesday, August 3, 2010

12 on Tuesday: Just for laughs

I was talking to a friend the other day and they were not aware of something-or-other about which I had blogged earlier in the week. I asked if they had lost me and did I need to resend my link. They said no, they hadn't read it lately because they didn't want to cry. .......................................Okay. Does that mean that my blog posts are always sad? depressing? boring? Were they talking about little Zaney-roo and it made them sad? I don't know. Here I go trying to find some funny things to blog about. Let me think back through the week. 1.Yesterday, while watering and weeding the garden (garden? let's just call this particular area 'the weed patch extraordinaire'...just to be clear...and brutally honest) I got my feet tangled in the watermelon vine that was lurking there below the crabgrass level (who even knew we had a watermelon vine? God again; planting things in my gardens without consulting me) AND...fell flat on my face into the cool, brown muddiness. Lovely. The only thing lacking was someone to see it happen. 2. I love parentheses. 3. I miss Jingleboy. I know: we all do. 4. Yesterday I really thought I was going to stroke out, but I was on my way to see the cardiologist so I figured they would catch it, if it were indeed happening. Once I got inside and they took all the vitals everything was fine. Confusing until I discovered that it was a scorching 109 degrees outside (they take those measurements in the shade you know) and I had been walking around on cement parking lots for an hour. How do you spell stupid anyway? 5. My heart is fine. It was just a check-up so we know what's what. NBD (That wasn't supposed to be funny so don't judge me.) 6. Oh! I did have another echo cardiogram done, my third. That was a blast, as usual. If you have never had one done you should sign up....if you want some man whom you have never met rubbing KY around on your bare chest (read: over, under and on your boob!) in a dark room while chatting it up as if you were best of friends. Here's the kicker: when he is finished he steps out so you can get dressed in privacy. WHAT????????? That should get someone laughing. If you aren't chuckling now you aren't trying. 7. I was mending some overalls this afternoon and heard someone shouting from under my house. Doesn't happen every day....not to me. Turns out it was the phone repair guy who was having some kind of panic thing happening under there. It's a long house with the only entrance on the south end and the problem was at the north end. You see the problem. I knelt down to the place where he had crawled in and yelled at him, "What are you complaining about, at least it's cool in here." To his credit he tried to laugh...or, I think he did. Maybe he was gagging??? 8. I am back on the wagon with losing weight. (That should get some laughs.) 9. I sat outside last night and watched the stars for awhile and noticed another UFO hovering in the eastern sky. No it was not a fly-boy from Vance, it was a UFO. After about seven minutes of sitting there another, smaller pod dropped out and flew away to the south. It happens. We're such a bunch of rowdies out here in rural America that they (someone) have to keep tabs on us at all times. We're pretty sure the house is bugged....wired...not real bugs you know. They're probably reading this right now and not laughing; but then, they are hired for their lack of a sense of humor. 10. Too bad I don't have an chickens anymore; they were always good for a laugh. (But only the racoons are laughing now. The sorry, no good..... 11. If Lisa were here we could think of a # 11 that would make you howl. She may be the funniest person I have ever known. What a hoot and a holler. I miss her. She's in Arkansas right now, which saddens me to no end. Why am I not in Arkansas right now? I'll bet it's cooler there in the Ozarks than it is here on the 'blast furnace-burn your face off-so hot you can't breathe" prairie. (BTW: 110 today) 12. Okay...now all we lack is a good picture to wrap this thing up. How's this? It's Zane dressed up like a little green 'glow-worm'. Cute huh!

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