Today I went to the Red Cross and gave blood for Zane in preparation for his surgery. Zane slept in his car seat while I revealed my entire sexual history (for heaven's sake! I know, it's the AID/HIV thing) to a complete stranger. No, I have not had sex with anyone who has ever done drugs or been to Haiti or Africa; nor have I traveled outside the United States or Canada in the last 8 years (that's a little bit depressing isn't it ?). Anyway, I lay there, pumping my blood into a plastic bag, thinking about what we will do for our children and our children's children. The answer is: anything we need to and everything we can. I would gladly go through this surgery in his place if I could, as I know his mom and dad would and everyone else who loves him.
I made the comment last evening to Christal, "I just wish God would lay His finger on Zane's heart and heal him, so he wouldn't have to go through this." To which she replied," How do you know He hasn't?" Her point was that perhaps God carried him through the pregnancy and birth safely so that the doctors could fix a heart that was broken. What a comforting thought. I know that God's ways are not our ways and that He (She? It? Whatever) always surprises us. I trust the love of God completely. It has never let me down or left me alone.
I feel like Zane carries a huge blessing and is touching and healing lives and hearts all around world, because of the people who are holding him up in prayer. Their prayers for him are taking them into the presence of God; a place they might not otherwise have visited. He is certainly a blessing to me, everyday, and I am so happy to be able to hold him in my arms and sing him to sleep.