Thursday, January 16, 2014

Ah well...

   
     January in Oklahoma is the bleakest, most miserable month you can imagine. Oh my gosh! You know me, I will go to ridiculous lengths to find a silver lining or some small slice of beauty in nature.  Today I looked and looked, walked in the woods, scanned the horizon at sunset, kicked around among the leaves in the yard, stared into the murky, blackness that is the winter fish pond, and watched the chickens scratching like crazy for whatever under the dead lilac bushes. Blah. Finally, just at sundown when Zane and I were standing beside the creek, listening to it giggle its way over stones in the near darkness, I thought, "That is a lovely sound."  Small change. A scrap of frayed, faded cloth. Not nearly enough. Good Lord! ( I know, I know...'the eye of the beholder' , 'the lens through which we gaze', and all that.)   
      The oil trucks have been have relay races up and down our road for two days and the wind has been roaring out of the north so the air is thick with white dust and, even when the temps are in the fifties, it feels like the thirties so we can't go outside to play or work or breathe. Add to that the fact that a rural water line broke somewhere up the line yesterday and we have been without water for most of yesterday and today until about three thirty. (I realize there are many, many people in the world who do not ever have running water in their homes. Humor me. I'll be better tomorrow, I promise. I'm just wallowing.)
    I am clawing my way out of a the annual January sinus infection, which I'm sure doesn't improve my outlook on anything. (cough. cough. Humbug.)
     Also, I have to stop reading the book club book before going to bed because I'm having those blasted Nazi dreams again. Terrorism on the printed page, nothing less. Who picked this book anyway and why did I choose this particular month to give it a go again? These and so many more questions that have no answers. 
      (Of course there is much more going on in here, underneath the weather, the wind and holocaust literature.)  
     This would probably be a great time for a little quiet meditation and some steady breathing. (Oh yes, my friend, I can hear what you are thinking.)
 
   I desperately need a good haircut.
    
   That, obviously, is the very least of my problems.

P.S. I would usually not click the publish button on this kind of stuff but I wanted you to know that I am not always bright and sunny or full of optimism. Oh, you knew that? Hmmmm.....Ah well...g'night.
   
   

      

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