"We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike." ~Maya Angelou

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Called out of Place

       A change is coming. I do not know what it will evolve into but I have been aware of a shifting for about a week or so.  The feelings/thoughts concerning this shifting are disconcerting, to say the least.  It feels a little like standing on a frozen river and suddenly beginning to feel the water move beneath it, makes keeping one's balance a bit of a circus trick at times.
    As you know, the past four years have been almost all about shifting, reassessing my identity and purpose in my world and my life.  Let me be clear about this, it has not been fun on any level. And now it begins to shift again. Okay. When the ground is constantly moving under your feet it does tend to force you to stay alert and keep a 'soft knee' so you're ready to adapt, if needed.
       I have not been out in nature as much as usual, well, I have been working in the garden like the proverbial dog, but not just being out in nature, listening, soaking it in like I did the first two or three years into this journey. For one thing, August was a high heat month and I don't do high heat well at all. But this morning I stepped out into the new light and noticed some astounding beauty lurking in the summer-weary gardens. These guys for example:

      Cannas have the most vibrant colors I have ever seen. They are so extravagant and 'in your face', saying in a loud voice "BEAUTIFUL"….what of it?.  They take my breath away.  Standing atop their grasshopper shredded leaves, striking a pose like a Diva.

        The herbs are all going to blossom and seed, preparing for the cold of the coming season, like this beautiful Basil. Further along the rows I found an exquisite starry purple bloom on the white eggplant bush.

 Look carefully at all those darker stripes and the quaint little white hooks on the points. Doesn't that just melt your heart.
After that little jaunt around the gardens I sat down to read my current book (which is depressing and is pleading for me to put it down). While I sat there I kept hearing a soft little scratching as if the faucet were leaking or something. It was so persistent that it eventually pulled me out of the book and I turned to look out the front door and there was a little squirrel, scratching on the glass.
   I stood up, walked outside and saw him sitting on the trunk of a Sycamore tree that stands not far from my front door. He was snapping his tail and looking at me.  Telling me all about it, he was.  Messages don't come much clearer than that, do they.  Needless to say, I stayed outside in the cool, bright air for quite awhile after that, enjoying the perfect bluebird morning. The call of the wild indeed.


Abbey said...

Mom, I have no idea what you are talking about, but you're kind of stressing me out.

Audra said...

Are you going to a start dating? I'm hoping it's something fun like that, because this post seems slightly scary.
Love you!

Kathryn said...

About 5 years ago I sort of grew up all at once. I was stuck in a bad relationship and knew I needed to change pretty much everything, from where I lived to how I thought. I did a bunch of mental re-org over a very short period of time, and it felt like I was running headlong towards a cliff; I knew I was going to sail off it but had no idea what was going to happen after that.

Maybe I would sprout wings, maybe I would find myself in a hang glider, or wearing a parachute, or maybe the drop was only 20' or so into deep water, I just didn't know. I don't have a good metaphor for what actually happened, but my life is spectacularly better than it had been prior.

So yeah, I understand what you're talking about with experiencing the water moving underneath ice.