Dad is home from the hospital at last, in his own home now, though not back to full strength and not off oxygen yet…soon, we hope. I know the path back from respiratory distress and ICU is long and frustrating but, as they say, it is better than the alternative. Dad is very disciplined and will do the required work.
There have been hours upon hours, early, late and in the middle, spent at the spice shop this month by everyone on the Savory Spice Shop OKC staff. What a bunch of worker bees! We are probably one man short of staff, truth be told, and when I had to be out for all that time when Dad was in the City it made everyone scramble even more. We'll hire another person next year. Our back stock cabinet is always full now and we only fill the jars that get below four on the shelf. The fact that we have so much to back stock tells you that business is going well. Thank goodness we don't have the kiosk this year. We are "riding the tiger" and in the home stretch.
That being said, I have retreated to the farm in an effort to get some mental, spiritual and emotional rest. I let myself get too tired, pushed too hard….for me. Then, on the way home, a deer ran out in front of me and smashed in the left front of my car. I was not hurt (the deer was killed) but today, after getting the car towed to the shop, having lunch with a friend and getting my rental car, I feel stretched thin and sketchy…held together with chocolate, as Tracie said on Saturday. It did not help that some stranger cursed at me in the parking lot of the book store. I don't know what I did to tick her off but she was hot.
Just what I needed.
Merry Christmas to you too.
She was probably stressed too: everyone is fighting some kind of battle.
I break into tears at nothing at all these days, random acts of crying. That can't be healthful, especially when I'm not sad. Am I? Maybe. Probably just sleep deprived and pushing too hard. I have stepped back from the front lines.
Anyway, last night I had a dream, and in it Danny walked through a doorway, took me in his arms and let me cry, which is exactly what I really wanted to do, needed to do. He said he hadn't really been dead, just needed some time away. Right. Wishful thinking if ever I heard it. It was good to see him again. Funny how we can remember every thing about someone we love, even when they have been gone for years; the feel and smell of their skin, the taste of coffee kisses, the sound of their beating heart.
I rented some movies and plan on taking it easy for a few days, petting the cats and breathing in the calm that is in this space. Able, Kari, Sam, Priscilla, Micah and Hunter are more than capable of keeping the spice shop up and running at full speed. Blessings on them all.