Tuesday, November 15, 2016
This Is What I Do
I know, there have been a few fierce poems lately, more than usual. You don't have to read them, although I wrote them for you. Some people run, some people work, some people talk. I write. I have to write in order make sense of what is spinning in my head. It is an exercise in organization, me trying to order my views and reactions to things.
I need to write. It serves as therapy for me. I can speak better through the printed word than in speech, because when I am writing I don't become distracted by what I see happening in your eyes, your face, your hands. I can say what I need to say.
Writing is my gift, one of my gifts, and one of the ways I use it is to confront the things which are abhorrent to me: injustice, bigotry, bullying, belittling. I was a victim of public humiliation and bullying as a child and I have used those emotional scars to fuel my life-long battle against those brutal actions. I went into teaching as a way to shield young souls from harm. I tried to give them tools with which to defend themselves: confidence in their innate talents, courage in the face of fear, music as an avenue of expression, social skills to use as needed. I tried to emulate that teacher who took me under her wing and taught me to stand tall and speak clearly the contents of my heart.
I like people to be happy. I seek love, as we all do, and most of the time I can let things flow past me without stepping in front of everything with which I disagree. People see things differently, they interpret things differently. There are many different cultures and communities in this wide world, all of which have their own unique viewpoints and traditions. I understand that. I try to get along, but I do have a temper, as do you. We try to keep them under control most of the time, so we can be civil with each other and not fall back into barbarism.
But now and then that temper flashes out. It's not pretty. I don't particularly like this 'in your face' part of myself but it is part of who I am. It is a defense mechanism, not only for myself but for others who are mistreated and maligned unjustly. When any of us see approaching danger, it is imperative that we stand firm and speak up for what we believe in, so that the greater lights of humanity continue to shine.